Dear Papa:
Today is Father's Day (in Australia) and I thought about you. This letter is a tribute to you and the great person that you were during your lifetime.
It's been like 36 years - such a long time, I barely even have any impression of you in my life.
My memories of you were unfortunately, not so vivid because you left this world too early in my life. Some of the earliest flashbacks I can recall were when you were ill.. lying in bed at home, asking me for back massages and me playing with those 'ice cream' sticks which you used for oral therapy in your mouth when you were battling face cancer. Of course, I also remember the few playground trips and you bought me these colourful layered cakes from the roti man. But vague, really vague for me at the moment... What is not vague is that cheek pinching! You loved to pinch my cheeks when you came back from work, and it really hurt. I disliked that, but now looking back, it really spoke volumes of your affection for me.
However, mum always had such good things to say about you. You were a good dad & hubby, the best that you tried to be. You saw to our family's needs and prepared as much for us as you could before you went off. This much I knew about you from the people and relatives who spoke of you. You were kind and generously helped many people in their time of need. You believed in education for young people, gave tuition and helped to ensure many of your siblings and their kids and even some of my uncles had the opportunity to finish off their school and have a fair go at a better future. You were the only son in your family to complete a diploma education and fought for your right for higher education. You taught and gave tuition to support your own education because your family just could not afford to put you through college. They did not believe in higher education either.
Agriculture became your destiny when you went to the College of Agriculture and studied agricultural science. It opened doors for you in ICI and you became a very good salesperson in that company.
You were promoted to Assistant Manager for your division and dined with British colleagues and professionals, moved to various towns in Malaysia to do your work. What you had achieved was amazing considering your circumstances and family background. Well, if you had chosen to stay on in pigfarming and helped your brothers, you might have eventually turned it into something outstanding too because you had great intelligence and foresight.
You loved life and all the joys it could offer, family, sports, friends, food, travel, photography. You played football, went hunting, fishing, took up archery (I think mum still keeps the bow somewhere in the house...)..and golf and travelled to many places for work and pleasure.
I know you loved taking photos coz we had stacks of those 35mm slides which I loved to hold up against the sunlight in my younger days to see the life that you had led. You lived a life that was so different from the rest of your family. You believed in true love
and didn't settle for the normal matchmaking practices that happened in your family during those early days. You zoomed in on your girl and relentlessly pursued her. You made sure mum finished her studies at least till Form 6, even when her dad wanted her to drop out of school to work. You supported her family financially to keep her in school so that she could eventually qualify for a teaching post. She was just a student and you were her English teacher. But you were a gentleman and waited for her to grow up. Now, if that's not true, mature love, I don't know what is.
Often, people & relatives would come up and tell us, 'Your dad was a very good brother, good man. He was good to us."
Now, I may not have gotten to know you as well as my brother and sisters but you know what? The memories and image of you are still good. And that's the way I wanna keep them always. Some people had dads with them all their lives but unfortunately, never really got to know them anyway. Some aren't even talking to their dads... but you, I know you loved us with all your heart,
,
each one of us was special in your eyes.
Reminds me of the bible scriptures:
"We love him because he first loved us." ~ 1 John 4:19
To be loved and know that you were special to someone ( even if only for a short time) inspires you to move on, to hope, to grow and to live and to love that person back.
Dear Papa:
Today is Father's Day (in Australia) and I thought about you. This letter is a tribute to you and the great person that you were during your lifetime.
It's been like 36 years - such a long time, I barely even have any impression of you in my life.
My memories of you were unfortunately, not so vivid because you left this world too early in my life. Some of the earliest flashbacks I can recall were when you were ill.. lying in bed at home, asking me for back massages and me playing with those 'ice cream' sticks which you used for oral therapy in your mouth when you were battling face cancer. Of course, I also remember the few playground trips and you bought me these colourful layered cakes from the roti man. But vague, really vague for me at the moment... What is not vague is that cheek pinching! You loved to pinch my cheeks when you came back from work, and it really hurt. I disliked that, but now looking back, it really spoke volumes of your affection for me.
However, mum always had such good things to say about you. You were a good dad & hubby, the best that you tried to be. You saw to our family's needs and prepared as much for us as you could before you went off. This much I knew about you from the people and relatives who spoke of you. You were kind and generously helped many people in their time of need. You believed in education for young people, gave tuition and helped to ensure many of your siblings and their kids and even some of my uncles had the opportunity to finish off their school and have a fair go at a better future. You were the only son in your family to complete a diploma education and fought for your right for higher education. You taught and gave tuition to support your own education because your family just could not afford to put you through college. They did not believe in higher education either.
Agriculture became your destiny when you went to the College of Agriculture and studied agricultural science. It opened doors for you in ICI and you became a very good salesperson in that company.
You were promoted to Assistant Manager for your division and dined with British colleagues and professionals, moved to various towns in Malaysia to do your work. What you had achieved was amazing considering your circumstances and family background. Well, if you had chosen to stay on in pigfarming and helped your brothers, you might have eventually turned it into something outstanding too because you had great intelligence and foresight.
You loved life and all the joys it could offer, family, sports, friends, food, travel, photography. You played football, went hunting, fishing, took up archery (I think mum still keeps the bow somewhere in the house...)..and golf and travelled to many places for work and pleasure.
I know you loved taking photos coz we had stacks of those 35mm slides which I loved to hold up against the sunlight in my younger days to see the life that you had led. You lived a life that was so different from the rest of your family. You believed in true love 
and didn't settle for the normal matchmaking practices that happened in your family during those early days. You zoomed in on your girl and relentlessly pursued her. You made sure mum finished her studies at least till Form 6, even when her dad wanted her to drop out of school to work. You supported her family financially to keep her in school so that she could eventually qualify for a teaching post. She was just a student and you were her English teacher. But you were a gentleman and waited for her to grow up. Now, if that's not true, mature love, I don't know what is.
Often, people & relatives would come up and tell us, 'Your dad was a very good brother, good man. He was good to us."
Now, I may not have gotten to know you as well as my brother and sisters but you know what? The memories and image of you are still good. And that's the way I wanna keep them always. Some people had dads with them all their lives but unfortunately, never really got to know them anyway. Some aren't even talking to their dads... but you, I know you loved us with all your heart,
,
each one of us was special in your eyes.
Reminds me of the bible scriptures:
"We love him because he first loved us." ~ 1 John 4:19
To be loved and know that you were special to someone ( even if only for a short time) inspires you to move on, to hope, to grow and to live and to love that person back.
2 comments:
What a strong and loving man!
thanks for sharing this part of your story. Really touching.
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