ABOUT FRIENDS

Had been mulling on the issue of friends lately. In this new place , I 'suss' out people and my conclusion is that friendships and true relationships are not made overnight. It takes years of building trust, and many trials and errors later to see who stands with you and who fades off. Over here, have met some really nice people. The people I look for that relate 'heart' are few, and as one guy put it to me, "You know we are not as openly warm or supportive the way Malaysians may be, but you know you can call us, anytime." ...and that's the way it works, mate...

Psychology courses have taught me every relationship is reciprocal. Even when you give to charity or do good, you kinda expect something back too, don't kid yourself - the 'feel good' factor of 'personal satisfaction' is the kickback you want. You must get something when you give out. Otherwise the relationship can't last too long. So if you have friends who are vacuum cleaners, empty inside but suck the daylights out of you, time to discard them....The same holds true if you turn out to be the vacuum cleaner itself, you will find yourself in the bin... give and take, the name of the game. Personally, I am blessed to have true friends who relate 'heart' who stand with me in my weakest moments who love and pray with me when I need it. Whoever reads this, u know who u are and it has been my joy to walk with you. Distance is no barrier, as long as the heart is willing to commit.

So, I know my son has a long way to go in learning about friendships and trusting the right people. As I guide him to adjust to school life and making friends, it can sometimes be difficult. "Choose your friends carefully, don't just do things for them because you want them to like you, do things WITH them, laugh WITH them, help each other,

..and if they don't want to play with you, move on to other people, there are lots of nicer people out there even not in your class who can be good friends too. You know you are special", ...dadida.. had to itemise my examples to my little 'thinker' boy why he can be likeable... But talking out issues of the heart really helps kids to adjust.... I hope it does.....