EPISODE 45: THE CUSTODY ISSUE

We just said goodbye to our Taiwanese exchange student boarder. It has been quite an experience... We were landed with a very unusual situation where his mum was in town and wanted him to stay with her and visit her own host family.

This was where the lines of custody were tried. Firstly, we had committed to EQI (Education Queensland International) and the school to take care of this boy during his stay in Gold Coast. Then when his mum appears on the scene and claims she has every right to take him back to her own place, we are caught in between. We were fine if she wanted to drop by and visit him occasionally. We were worried that should anything happen to him during his time with his mum, we would be liable and we wanted a black and white written consent to cover ourselves. Unfortunately, his Taiwanese tour agency tried to bypass the system by telling the school he was just arranging a 'visit'to his mum but never mentioning that she was planning to have him stay overnight at her host's place. So, the school then gave their ok. This was a very controversial issue because who would then be accountable for his safety? The other host family or her or us? So, we refused to budge until she had written consent. She kept pressuring the tour agency to speak to the school coordinator. We were really stressed because we were getting these phone calls from 'unofficial' parties to release him. In the end, his tour rep as well as the mum called and said they had spoken to the school authorities and the mum told me she would like me to drop the boy off at her campus where she was studying so she could bring him home for 2 nights. I said, sure, as long as official green light was given.

But then to be sure, we decided we'd better check back with the school on this arrangement. The school knew of no such thing about staying overnight and told me to hold on. I supposed certain parties were then embarassed by this issue. We had en email by the tour company apologizing for the episode and promising it won't happen again cc'ed to the Queensland authorities. However, subsequently, these episodes still went on, with the mum pushing for his visit to her house, and him also wanting to stay overnight with his other friends' homestay parents. It was just so trying to explain to him that we had to follow protocols. He said the other boys were doing so, and staying with other families. His mum also rang again to ask to meet him. By this time, we were really feeling bad about the situation.

We rang the tour company boss and told her about these requests. She sounded like we were at fault and hinted that we were too rigid with following by the book and that this had never happened to her before. It was never an issue with other people. But then again,this was clearly a unique situation. Who would have thot his mum is in town and made such requests? And if she (the tour company) had gotten away in the past making informal arrangements like these, we are sorry to have been the 'bad guys' to bring all this to light.

At the bottom of this issue, lies also the fact that if you wanted your child to be part of a host family program, and to fully assimilate here, it would not help at all by letting him know mummy is around, tell mummy if you want to be with me. All this molly coddling defeats the whole purpose of sending your kid overseas for a different cultural independent experience.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, the woman finally got her son to stay with her for the last 3 nights of his Gold Coast stay. They fly off tomorrow on Sunday. We had to ask him to pack and release him back to the school and her. It was a very unpleasant situation and I think all parties felt very awkward and upset about it. Of course I never mentioned to the school authorities of the few 'unofficial' visits the tour agency made to our home as well as the mum to inspect his bedroom. It was just sheer insult to us that it appeared as if we were not giving him proper accommodations and living amenities.

We later got feedback that his mum complained we didn't include him as part of family living-... I mean, GIMME a break! Am I expected to bring your son to theme parks, supermarkets everyday after school or something? We had TV watching Masterchef almost every evening with him (which he enjoyed), took him to the church, the beach, McDonald's, made him feel at home as much as we could,cooked lamb for him because he loved it, made sure his lunch had stuff he would like to eat,even tried to get him to play with neighbourhood boys soccer, BUT he just wasn't interested... and all we got was this very expressionless look on his face, no sign of gratitude,interest to assimilate, not even a please or thank you, no effort to help in the house. I even did his laundry after he left (not to mention all the unmentionables I had to scrub off his underwear each time.) and handed them to him the following day. Well, if this is how Taiwanese people bring up their sons, I am sorry for the whole generation of them and their wives when they eventually marry....

Anyway, the school was very apologetic that this had to happen to us and felt we had done the right thing to inform them. So, that at least was our vindication for this issue. I did raise the point that we were concerned if the mum was not thinking we could give her son the 'real aussie family' experience, and she asserted that Australia is a multicultural country and the homestay should reflect that, not just white families...

Well, for now, I wash Taiwan off my hands and homestay probably for a very long, long time. Once bitten, twice shy. Twice bitten, surely die....

EPISODE 44: THE TAIWANESE 'SON'

No, we did not adopt anybody. But these days, we are hosting this 12-yr-old Taiwanese boy from Kaoshiung. The boy arrived last week and has been settling in nicely with us. We volunteered to be host family for the Taiwanese students visiting Jordie's school so he will be living with us for 3 weeks.

It's fun and interesting to watch our boy interact with him as Jordan speaks very little Mandarin - so the Taiwanese boy was forced to speak English with him. He was initially shy but is now more confident and comfortable with us. We were told to speak English with him even though we can converse in Chinese, so that he will have the benefit of learning to communicate more in English. Found out he likes beef and lamb. Quite a carnivore,... and takes to Aussie milk and soft drinks. We are given an allowance for his stay though, which helps with the extra food bills.

To be honest, we thought we wouldn't qualify since we were Asians, but the school homestay coordinator thought we were a nice family and spoke English well enough to qualify for the role. So, she helped us apply for a blue card, which is a must for any work/ volunteer handling children below 18 years of age. My responsibilities as host mum is to make sure he gets to and from school on time Mondays to Fridays; 3 square meals daily, pack school lunches for him, communicate in English, do laundry and help adjust to OZ culture. It's quite an experience... handling 2 kids instead of one, but they are both very good, so it's still manageable. I had initial fear images of boys jumping on sofas, raiding fridges and wrecking the bedrooms, picky eaters, etc...but so far so good....

Meantime, Jordie is enjoying his company very much and told me he wished he had a brother. Oh well, a temporary one will do for now....

1ST Female PM For Australia.

Someday, it was bound to happen..and it did.

Although I don't see it happening yet for America or Malaysia, primarily in any kind of chauvinistic societies, but I was surprised that happened in Australia today, in the wee hours of the morning. Okay, probably power shift rumblings were already happening invisible to the public eye, but today, I think most were taken by surprise that Julia Gillard decided to step up after Kevin Rudd lost his majority votes for the Labour party, Australia's ruling party in parliament.

Kevin Rudd has given up the leadership of the Labor Party before completing his first term, conceding defeat to Julia Gillard before the spill was even put to a vote, resulting in the installation of Australia's first female Prime Minister. Ms Gillard will be sworn in at lunchtime by Governor-General Quentin Bryce, and will hold a press conference shortly, with details expected to emerge on the mining tax and possible ETS commitments.

There is also speculation an election could be held sooner rather than later due to the leadership change. Yesterday's dramatic crisis within the Labor Party resulted in the positions of party leader and deputy leader being declared vacant at this morning's caucus meeting. According to Labor Party returning officer, Michael Forshaw, Mr Rudd gave a gracious speech to the party room, in which he declared he would not be standing for the position of leader. This left Ms Gillard elected to the position of Labor Leader and consequently Prime Minister unopposed. Wayne Swan was then elected to Ms Gillard's former position of deputy leader, also unopposed. Ms Gillard arrived at this morning's minute at 8.59am accompanied by both Treasurer and now Deputy Prime Minister Wayne Swan, and a security detail. Upon departing the meeting Ms Gillard said: "I feel very honoured and I'll be making a statement shortly."

Mr Rudd's popularity had been in freefall in recent months and Labor powerbrokers yesterday acted on the dire polling, confronting Mr Rudd urging him to make way for Ms Gillard. Mr Rudd fought the move by putting the leadership to a vote at today's caucus meeting. However, after a night of working the phones, Mr Rudd failed dismally to garner even a respectable amount of support and this morning decided not to put his name forward for re-election as party leader. He is expected to remain on the back bench until the election, when he will most likely leave politics.

How sad.... u know, I did think he started his career in a very good way and built good bridges both locally (with the aborigines) and internationally (China). Mr Rudd listed the apology to the stolen generation, keeping the country out of the global financial crisis and the education revolution as some of the achievements he was most proud of. "I was elected by the Australian people as Prime Minister to bring back a fair go for all Australians, and I have given my absolute best to do that — I have given my absolute all," he said. "I hope I've been able to demonstrate to you that this has been a very busy two and a half years." A pity it had to end in this fashion. Australian politics is hard to crack.. it will be interesting to see what unfolds in the next few months with this new shift in power...

BERYL'S FUNERAL

Today was Mum Beryl’s funeral. We arrived just as it was about to start at Allambie Memorial Park in Nerang. We saw many familiar faces there, including Pastor Dexter, who specially flew in that morning from Malaysia to be at the funeral service, Pastor Len, Beryl’s pastor of Genesis Church, Ebbie, Dexter’s daughter who flew in from Melbourne, Neil Falcke and his dad and daughter, Marnie, Neil Bishop and his wife, Pam from Brisbane, Sue McBeath and hubby Ken as well as church members from Genesis like the Youngs and Brett.

It felt strangely peaceful there in the graveyard because the surroundings were so green and pretty. My first time on an Australian burial ground area and many graves, unlike those grandly ornamented Chinese graveyards, had very inconspicuous tombstones (or rather, plaques ) which lay flat on the ground. Almost stepped on one!! Beryl is a very dear friend of ours and as we laid her to rest today, we knew that she had indeed lived a life that had touched so many others. Here was one ordinary lady who had made her life count for God in an extraordinary way.

This was a closed casket type of funeral so we never got to take one last look of her. At the end of the service, we went forward and scattered petals on her coffin. But it didn’t feel the least bit tragic at all, because she had really lived a fulfilled life in God and went in a dignified, painless, peaceful manner. I think the sadness was more for ourselves, those she left behind.

After the funeral, they held a celebration service for Beryl . Seems like over here, especially for christian practice, they have the funeral service & burial first, attended by the closer friends and family members, then have a subsequent service for others in the form of a celebration service to celebrate the life of the departed. Then again, it may vary according to individual preference of different families.

Dexter gave a 30-minute eulogy on Beryl and ended with one of her fave songs: "You shall cross the barren desert." He strummed it on guitar while Ebbie sang with him.

Peter read from Psalms 91 and her son, Jeff shared about her family background.

Neil Falcke sang a beautiful rendition of ‘To God Be the Glory”. He joked that Beryl told him he must do so, so he said he’d better sing it today, otherwise he might ‘get into trouble’…Neil has been a fantastic spiritual son to her and taken care of her so well. We saw how he faithfully chauffered her for walks, bought shopping items, ran errands and did up her house to be ‘Beryl-friendly’ when she got too weak to climb upstairs. He read scriptures and shared with her when she laid in hospital. He used to cut her toe nails for her when she couldn't bend over. Every Sunday after service, he brought her out for lunch. He is a fine example of a great son and we are so proud of him- such a gem.

So,…Goodbye Beryl for now. You were a caring friend, mum, aunt, confidante to me amongst many others in Gold Coast and I don’t think I will ever meet another quite like you. The tears shed this morning were more for the loss of a great friend, than for your death. We love you and miss you already.

BREASTS FOR SALE

On the way to church this morning, we were so amused to see our favourite butcher advertising his wares in this fashion, getting a staff to ride on a bike at the junction where traffic lights were with a white t-shirt advertising 'BREASTS $6.99/kg' You see, initially they got slapped with several fines for advertising with the guy standing at the corner of the junction with the word 'breasts' which Gold Coast Council said was inappropriate, a traffic hazard causing too much distraction and too far away from their outlet to justify standing there. Lots of publicity over this issue but definitely caught the attention of the public. Don't know if sales increased as a result, but today, the cyclist advertiser sure caught the eye of the public again. And I must say, I am impressed with the creativity of the advertiser. Mobile advertising means wider exposure to different sets of eyes at different times.

Today, probably in their attempt to beat the system, the Mad Butcher (literally that is the name of the butcher shop) got our favourite 'breast man' to ride around with the sign on his bike. He stopped at traffic lights obediently, and pedalled across the street, to and fro, he went...looking just like any other innocent biker, except with this controversial 'breasts' signage displayed behind his bike.

And yes, we did go in after church (the shop is just doors away) and got our breasts (chicken) for $6.99/kg -all 3 of them. So, you see, advertising has its results...

EPISODE 43: GOODBYE FOR NOW, DEAREST BERYL

Today, as we were driving Jordie to school in the morning, a call came in from a friend, Karen, reporting that our dear friend, Mum Beryl has passed away before midnight yesterday. We weren't surprised as she had been ill in hospital for over a week but we were also sad. In that second, we knew we had lost a very dear and encouraging friend of many years to us.

Beryl died on the 1st day of winter in Australia, June 1, 2010 at 83. How significant, the 'passing of the old guard' as we enter a new season. She had been diagnosed with cancer last year but mercifully, she suffered very little pain and went peacefully in an unconscious state.

She had been serving God faithfully since her fifties and travelled to many lands as a missionary including Malaysia, Indonesia and England. She served alongside with Pastor Dexter and Lily in the early pioneering days of Latter Rain Church and had been a great inspiration to many- both young and old. Possibly she had travelled to many different parts of Malaysia more than the average Malaysian would have done, and given her life towards encouraging and teaching many people about God. She made many visits back to Malaysia to be part of the church. Many Latter Rain church members know her and have been blessed by her ministry.

Jordie calls her his "Billabong Granny" (because her residence was called 'the Billabong') and she seemed to be really proud of that nickname. One of the 1st Australians to welcome us when we arrived in Gold Coast, she made sure we were welcomed, settled in well and adjusted when we first moved here.

Can't quite describe the loss, but before we feel sorry for ourselves, we know she is now in a better place. In the last stages of her life, she was actually pretty cheerful and strong about her situation, even though she was in discomfort, she kept her humour and faith in God, always believing Him for the best and seeing even the hospital as her mission field. Last Monday when we last saw her, she was even talking about going next door to pray for another patient who wasn't doing so well....such is her heart and compassion for people around her.

We will miss her heaps. She's been such an encouragement to me during some of my difficult times...

The winter has come but you have gone.

To dwell and enjoy home in a better place

Many lives you have touched, Many seeds you have sown

May we join with you someday to see God face to face.

So, good bye for now. Beryl. Until then, we will always have loving memories of you.

I SHALL WALK HOME RAIN OR SHINE

Jordie had been rather insistent on walking home from school all by himself. He's very proud of his new independence (and freedom) so we try to let go as well, with quite a long list of 'DON'Ts" i.e. don't talk to strangers, don't stop at the bridge and loiter, don't climb on anything on the way back, don't look at the ground in case cyclists crash into you, etc... The weather has been really nice lately.. except whenever the boy announces he wants to walk back, it tends to rain.. and yesterday was supposed to be his 1st attempt to do so all the way, but we didn't know if he would be waiting at school when it started to rain. My agreement with him was rain or shine, you walk back, unless it pours... but I forgot to define what 'pours' means... so when the clouds gathered, daddy got kinda worried that he would get wet, so I drove out but on the way there, saw that the sun was still shining his side of the school, so I turned back, because I knew that fellow would be upset if I didn't keep my promise to let him walk home. Well, as Gold Coast weather would have it, the next thing you know... the clouds gathered again and the rain started, this time, on HIS side of the lake and I had to drive out again...

I knew I would meet him halfway. Sure enough, there was dear old Jordie along the way walking back from school, a little wet but happy. All this guesswork and fussing around!!! - just so a boy can find his own joy of independence to walk back home on his own....

HAPPY DINING....

Of late, it has come to my attention that there is such a thing as “Cakeage” being charged in restaurants in Gold Coast these days. Used to be just for “Corkage” in BYO restaurants and that was fine. But nowadays cakeage may be charged in certain restaurants when you bring your own cake and eat it there. They basically charge you for storing it in chiller, taking it out to serve and giving you clean spoons and dessert plates to go with it. A$2.50 per person average charge. Some people are crying foul over it. This is one good example of how you can't have your cake and eat it too..

Now, what then if the restaurants wanted to make some more money off you and insisted you use more stuff of theirs instead of bringing your own? You would then have to shelve out fees for:-

Drinkage : any other types of liquids apart from wines or champagnes or beer...

Mintage : We got a range of nice branded mints available at our snack counter, sir."

Chewing gumage: " Please feel free to pick up any brand from our cashier's display shelf of goodies//"

Bandage: if you're bringing your own Ipod and they don't get to charge you for renting theirs.

Broadbandage: if you're using your own mobile modem versus theirs and it ain't Starbucks or Zaraffa's...

Milkage: "Ahem, Ma'am we have boxed milk for your kids, you know... It's only $2 per carton..."

OK, finally this is a more straightforward one and nothing to do with bringing your own- I believe some places already charge for these:

Breakage of seats, tables, plates bowls or glasses

Wastage : for stuffing your face silly at a buffet and leaving too much leftovers on your plate when you are finally about to puke...(some restaurants in Malaysia can and will charge you for this based on weight!!- say $5 per 100g leftover!!)